The Lighthouse Widow (The Moon)

This article series is a fun personification of the Grahas (Heavenly Bodies) used in Jyotish (Eastern/Indian Astrology). These stories are my own invention as a way to bring the Grahas to life based of the Graha representations and characteristics found in the book "Light on Life; An Introduction to the Astrology of India" by hart de Fouw & Robert Svoboda. The Grahas themselves are a powerful part of any Jyotish read. Where they are placed within the chart and how they interact with the other Grahas helps the Jyotish practitioner craft the story the chart is telling them about their client. Each Graha can represent so many different aspects of a lifetime that having a story helps you to connect to the story telling. Grahas can represent types of clothing, age of maturation, career choices, colors, personality types, sex, psychology and so much more! These representations are called out by the underlined words. 

[EDITOR’S NOTE: Excerpt from first draft of Candra’s Memoirs – publisher wants to edit this. But Ms. Moon is very fickle, and likes the changeable tone] 

Rainy Season  

They call me the Lighthouse Widow; like I am some deranged / emotional tabloid sensation. (Although I must confess, sometimes I LOVE the notoriety). I guess I can be fickle that way. I personally like to think of myself as Queen of the Lighthouse. I stand here at the rail, rain, or shine… waiting. I adorn my new white gown (it makes me feel both regal and ghostly) and I stare at the moon. The moon’s light overlooking the beach, the sea, and the houseboats at the docks

Up here in my safe and lonely lighthouse, I watch over women. I also enjoy aiding the men who allow their emotions to flow. I remember every woman who calls upon me on the docks, the ships, the rivers, as they tearfully wait in hotels/motels for their loved ones to travel home.  

In the night and near the flowing water is when true emotions, true identities come out and play. And Oh! I love watching it. I hate the drama of it. Oh, how I love the ebb and flow of my desire to love and hate the changes, just like the currents. On good days I can sense how good it feels to be in the flow of the emotions. To look straight ahead and yet still dream. I help those dreamers, making their emotions seem manageable (or not). Like they can taste their dreams. They see potential like starting a new business, using my waters for their trade. My favorite entrepreneurs are the lady dreamers who use my waters to grow rice, melons, coconut, cucumber, and general fruits and vegetables.

I love watching the docks on shipping days. I – the Lighthouse Widow – see all and talk to the water! And I can be let the water be your dream fantasy and aid you or it can become your worst nightmare. For you see…. If you are nice, (benefic) to me, then I shall be nice to you! But when you stop my flow …. Well then you simply better watch out! I will become malefic. Pay homage to me!! The Queen of the Water. Mess with my queendom and you’ll be sorry! I’ll drown your mind. Stop my flow and you’ll lose your taste for all cooked foods. You’ll become drowsy and tired from trying to avoid me. Your dreamscape is where I will find you. Oh yes. I will find you! People will start to wonder what is wrong with your mind. I’ll make it so that you start to drown when surrounded by air, I’ll make you swell, carrying my water on land!

[Editor’s Note: I think she means respiratory problems and edema?]

I’m in your blood there is no escaping me! So, play nice and I’ll wrap you in emotional love. Swaddling you like momma used to. But never doubt, I can turn around and become Mommy Dearest and nobody wants that! Mommy Dearest will wrap you in a wet and heavy blanket!  

They call me the Lighthouse Widow. It’s funny because I much prefer Candra or Mistress of Emotions or Matriarch of the Waters. You see I am old in my body (70 years), but I suppose I never did get older than the age of 24 mentally. That was when I became the Widow….

I was just a young woman working for the brewery my family owned. Our eyes met across the bar, and I just knew he was the one for me. We spent many happy years here in his lighthouse. We grew lilies and he gave me a moonstone on our wedding day. He always said he wanted to give me pearls. Because they are the diamond of the sea – but we could never afford them.

He died.

And I almost went with him. I was emotionally shut down one minute and hyper-sensitive the next. I couldn’t relate to myself or others. I was never going to hold my own infant in my arms. So… I went a little crazy. I became known as the Lighthouse Widow. Oh dear… I’m crying, I can taste the salty tears as they stream down my face.

[Editor’s Note: There seems to be several tear stains here]

My new duties included protecting the women and the waters. I may be short, but I take that duty seriously. But we already talked about whom I protect and about how I can be kind or a nightmare. It’s like these days I just talk and talk in circles

So here I sit, a short distance from my beloved’s grave. I just wish I could have ruled over Cancer so he could still be here today. These days the lighthouse is my Oasis; I have many plants and a little pet mouse (rodent) whom I preside over and mother. 

Oh look! There to the northwest! There seems to be a new fountain being put in! I think I shall end this journal entry so that I can go check it out!